..building the confidence..

Yesterday, I woke up in the morning as usual, pondering what I should do for the day, as there's only so much time left until next Thursday, the time when I will board my flight to Moscow. Then my SASER friend Fauzi Suwarno (Pojie) texted me, "Watpe dude? Ble dtg kl lg hehe". So I decided to lepak at his rented house or flat or whatever you call it once again, and break my fast there. The fuel in my car tank is almost empty, and I forgot to ask my dad for the fuel card, so I filled in about RM10 worth of Shell fuel. I went to the Bazar Ramadan near PKNS, that place is usually fun. So I bought Nasi Kerabu, some kuih-muih (RM2 for 5 pieces, mahal nak mampus), murtabak ayam and F&N air sarsi berkarbonat. From the bazar it was 5.30pm but only around 6.00pm that I passed the Kajang toll, it was so jammed. KL wasn't that jammed, perhaps people are going out of KL are more than people that are going into KL. I was cruising, trying to conserve fuel as much as possible.

Then I arrived at Pojie's place in Pandan Indah. A normal bachelor's place, but with barely any furniture hehe. Before Maghrib, we battled in PES 2010 and I kicked his ass every game. The azan can be heard from his house, and we duly broke our fast and dig in. After Maghrib prayers, once again for me, a boys talk session, hehe. I asked him about his relationship with his girlfriend who now went back to her home in Kota Kinabalu, what his vision was for his future, and more stuffs. Of course I was asked about my stuff too, and I got plenty of advice. It was getting late, so around 10.45pm I decided to go back home.

Still, my head was not clear yet about something, so I asked Johan if he's free for a walk and talk. Picked up Johan, and we just went to Fasa 3 tambahan or Bangi Perdana just near our homes, talking about stuffs, and once again, taking advice. Its good to have someone to talk to. Your plan doesn't necessarily goes to work, but at least there's someone who knows what you are about to do, and maybe, interested in the progress of your action. As for me, I'm still abit blurry and all, but what is clear from everyone is, I need to be confident and state what I want clearly, and not just mumbling around like I always do.

Now I know what to do.

..I'm happy you said yes..

Then, it hits me like a train. I'm 24, without assets, or ambition. To be honest, I only have RM100 or something left in my Maybank account. What does this mean? Am I reckless? A big spender? I don't think I'm lavish. I can have all I want by just asking, but rarely I did. So I had this conversation with my school friend and neighbor Johan Vanhaecke who's doing his second degree in Business I think in HELP College University, and asked about financial advice. I like to talk with him a lot about many stuffs, because like me, he's also still a student, and like me, he's single. Although he chose to be, haha.

This is also a conversation that I had with another friend, who although I don't need to tell her name, she was the girl in the post before this one. I'm giving you guys an insight, I'm actually privately funded, by my mom and dad, and I am not studying under a scholarship. That gives me a horrendous amount of pressure to succeed and give back whatever they want. So my dad gives me allowances every month without fail. Starting from now, I'm going to save about 1/3 of my allowance every month, and that is a big deal for me. Living in Moscow, you need to prepare yourself for everything. And I think this means going to the pasar for me or something like that. I still have 2 years before I graduate. And if I can save my money without any problems until 2012, it is highly probable that I don't need any pocket money anymore from my parents when I graduate.

As adults, we need to have plans and goals. We cant really live for the moment, or having a fool's dream. We have to work for it. I did my research, and by that I mean surfing around other blogs and googling around. For fresh graduating doctors, or houseman, the JPA states that gaji bersih is around RM2500. This does not include others like allowances and on calls, which means the pay will get higher. I'm not complaining. If I'm not mistaken, post-graduates doctors in Russia has to pay the hospital to employ them so that they can finish their mandatory 2 years housemanship. How about that?

So anyway, when I graduate in 2012, I'm thinking of just using my dad's Toyota Corolla for a couple of years more, rent a house and live alone not far from the hospital. I try not to have a roommate for privacy reasons. Finish my housemanship in 2 years time and I hope to get settled by then. Maybe starting a family, but hey, you have to get a job first too right? I guess my dad already pushed me to stay in the government sector, and I'm just returning the favor.

As for Azzam, nantila aku cerita kat kau kat Moscow nanti. Boys talk. Haha. =D

..a faint smile..

I've watched so many movies in just so many days. But its all good, because it is just one of the ways for me to stay close with my friends, maybe have a talk or laughter after watching a movie, you know, doing silly stuffs. Here's what I've already watched :


1. Predators.
2. The Last Airbender.
3. Inception.
4. The Expendables.
5. Despicable Me.
6. RepoMen.
7. Salt.

And I watched Inception twice. Because its awesome. Well no actually because I was going out with different friends, and they haven't watched it yet.


For an unlucky guy like me, it sometimes is funny hearing stories from old friends about their lives, yet, insightful. It pains to see that a girl you like so much, but you could not have for whatever reasons, get dumped by guys every time. I mean, whats the big deal? She's cool, she's smart, kinda cute in the looks department, likes to talk a lot, funny and cheerful. Although I don't really put any hopes on her now, but we're kinda like good friends, so we talk a lot about ourselves, and our lives. I mean, I got rejected by her, but the ones that do already have her, acts like she's not a big deal. What the fuck. I feel sorry though. But the be fair, I don't really know exactly the big deal, I don't know both sides of the story. Maybe she's too queen control, maybe she's too jealous, but I'm not taking any side, but I think that guy is an idiot. He don't know her like I do, and I don't think he makes an effort like I did.

To be honest, I'm not supposed to talk about other people's crap, but I just feel sorry for her. It is a private matter, but I don't think she reads my blog anyway. She never mentioned about it, so I think its cool. No I really hope she didn't read my blog. But since its my blog, I'm entitled to say whatever I have in my mind. And for her, I wish her happiness in life.

As for Miss Bubblegum, you too! =)

..be kind rewind..

Hello again. Selamat berpuasa to my readers who are Muslim. Say, its been 2 weeks or so since I came back from Moscow, and I am now in my beloved Bandar Baru Bangi. Bangi hasn't changed much, just the countless numbers of restaurants and kopitiams now sprawling around. It really makes you spoiled for choices. I've been to Ice Room, Pappa Rich, some other obscure restaurants, Azura, and the occasional mamak places like Impian Maju and Hassan's. Well I don't really like Hassan's because the food doesn't taste so good. The view is nice though. =D

One of the many lousy reasons why I don't blog nowadays in Malaysia is because I have slow internet connection in my house. I'm still using the caveman-technology dial up internet. I think I'm the only one in Bangi still using it. I've met friends, family, and all sorts. I love it every time I spend my holidays back home. Especially in Bangi, they have everything here. You can wear sarong and pagoda t-shirt, with selipar jamban or anything and can walk without conscience to Bangi Utama/Warta and shop for some stuffs. And by the way I am using selipar jamban to go anywhere, just ask my slacker friends Johan and Haikal.

Hmm. I was going to upload some pictures but the internet was too damn slow. Perhaps later when I get to any free wifi places. Till then.